Winter Evenings

Cold weather does not agree with me. My joints ache, my sense of humor become morbid, and all I want to do is just curl up inside a pillow fort.

Surprisingly, I am fond of dark winter evenings. To me, it is time to recenter myself and remember precious times.

I won't deny the dark is 'unsettling' and sometimes genuinely dangerous. (Try driving down an unlit highway during skunk season.) However, in my childhood, it was the perfect setting for story-time.

When it was too cold to be outside, sleeping bags were pulled into the living room, furniture and laps claimed, then Dad would read aloud. It started with fairytales and the Little Golden Books. Poetry and short stories soon made appearances. Finally, deep, multi-chapters novels, like the Chronicles of Narnia and the Jungle Book.

The most popular request was the Hobbit. Daniel, Lisa, and I would wait patiently through weeks of reading for Dad to get to the dragon, Smaug. The evil dragon's deep gravely voice set us diving for the safety of Mom's chair or pulling up blanket shields to ward off his magic eye.

Those times are what I think off when I hear the word 'storytelling.' It's not a passive activity where you sit still while a reader drones through a narrative. It's a guided tour to another place and time.

Winter nights built my love of stories, and how I tell them. Year after year, I listened and unknowingly learned plot rhythms, formal and informal styles, and the difference between a vibrate or flat character.

I do not have formal education in literature, or entertainment. I have a simple standard, "Is is worth reading aloud with family?"

In Oklahoma, the December sun sets before 6pm. Bedtime isn't until 10pm. The quiet dark begs me to gather my family close, and open a book. 

Overthinking: World Building

Great fantasy books come with gorgeous maps – Lord of the Rings, The Wheel of Time, Game of Thrones. My WIP, Tales of Mundus does not.

It's not from lack of trying on my part.

On the mirco-scale, I have 'mapped' bits of Mundus. I know what's around Leon and Celebramar's lake and the general direction to big cities and different ecological zones. (Mainly so that I can keep track of what the dragon Celebramar eats.)

On the marco-scale, I keep tripping over my education. I try to map out anything bigger than a neighborhood and I start thinking like an environmental engineer.

A typical world building exercise challenges the storyteller to think about plant and animal life, terrain, and seasonal weather cycles. In my mind, that's just window dressing. The land itself is shaped by plate tectonics, glacier drifted, and the ocean tides. In short, I can't just doodle a coast line and it feel 'right.' (As much as I enjoy Middle Earth, Tolkien had a habit of using mountain ranges like picket fences.)

There's also the anthropological side to consider. Cultures are shaped by the land. Oklahoma folklore has no sea monsters or vampires. We have Thunderbirds, heralds of the storms, and the trickster Old Man Coyote who laughs in the night.

Mundus is a magpie collection of mythos and characters. They need their native habitats, or they lose something in translation. Centaurs don't work in boglands. Everyone also needs plenty of space. Being 'culture siblings' doesn't mean any two races will get along. Imagine Elrond the Half-Elf trying to share space with Tinkerbell. Those picket mountains are starting to look attractive.

I've started, scrapped, then restarted the 'map' of Mundus several times. It's an exercise in frustration. Frankly, I'd rather spent time writing about the characters than fighting my brain. I have notes on which races and cultures are neighbors with how easy it is for people to travel. Anything more than that and I start building bio-domes (Start at both ice capes and work to match along the equator.)

There's also part of me that thinks it is good for parts of Mundus to remain Terra Incognita. A blank spot on the map is a challenge and promise that you haven't see everything.

My education emphasized structure and systems, but a good scientist has a strong sense of curiosity. All my good ideas come from letting my mind wander off the beaten path. Do centaurs wear horseshoes? Can dragons get sinus infections?

Tales of Mundus won't be published with a typical fantasy map. However, if it does get one, I pity the artist/cartographer who get roped into helping me.

Cold Weather and My Sense of Humor

Winter is beautiful. Winter is eventful. Winter is also slump season for me.

November to March has plenty of excuses for the procrastinating writer...

SADs, stress, hay fever and flu season, the holiday marathon, stress, the muse killing earworms from Christmas carols, fingers aching from the cold, and of course more STRESS.

Now, some writers avoid these traps by focusing on their word count. There's a large support system out there, Write a Novel in One Month or other winter bootcamps. Unfortunately, my problem isn't just time management. (Look, look everyone! I got another blog out on time.)

During slump season, my muse turns morbid. Not Grendel's Mum ripping off arms morbid. More like, “Vanity of vanities. All is vanity.” My wit becomes gallows humor. Needless to say, this tone doesn't match Tales of Mundus at all.

As a teenager, I saw my peers writing angst filled stories and dark poetry, and I hated it. I didn't want to marinaded my brain in gloom and doom. A storyteller's job is to enrich life, to inspire and entertain.

The shorter days and cool weather bring out melancholy feelings and thoughts. I do still write during a slump. I just don't have anything I want to make public.

Unlike laughter which spreads freely, pain and sadness are more personal. I have multitude of trials and struggles in my history. However, I don't want to be known for my bad health, weird childhood, etc. Those stories are not for entertainment – they are for uniting and giving hope to individuals.

I also don't think it's polite to leave my battle scars and sharp edges out where an unsuspecting reader can trip over them. You came there to be entertained, not get a Reader's Digest special ;p

However, I don't want to just go silent for weeks at a time. I am trying to take my writing to the next step (I am currently somewhere between hobbyist and starving author.) That means learning to write through a slump and keep on topic. That means pushing and, ugh, working instead of hibernating until next summer.

This winter will be interesting – hopefully it will be entertaining and fit to print.

Overthinking: Why Villains Fail, Frequentally

A Little Context...

This is a faux capstone project for a superhero college RPG on Pro-boards. Originally, the webcomic authors for Sidekick Girl planned to use the fan's characters for a massive cameo of heroes and villains (minions and sidekicks were also welcome.) However, the story arc fell through for multiple reasons.

Jump forward a few years and I'm brushing off the digital dust on this rambling, over-wordy fluff piece. It has a slightly pompous tone and a complete lack of academic format. Oddly enough, people have asked me if this was a real school assignment.

It is however an excellent example of how I over-analyze everything, storytelling trophes and cliches included. This also saves me trying to type with one of my fingers in a brace. (The right-hand middle finger is NOT a good finger to injury.)

For your enjoyment, Common Causes of Downfall ;)

Common Causes of Downfall: A Comparative Analysis 

by Twitch (Sidekick Undergraduate)
Metro City Community College Superhero Correspondence Program
Winter Semester 2014

Why do villains fail? Their schemes are elaborate and their powers often greater than those of the hero opposing them. Victory seems assured. So do plans keep failing and the villains themselves often perish? The answer can be found by examining a wide range of villains and their downfalls. Three reoccurring elements quickly become apparent: fatal character flaws; poor strategy; and chaos. This paper will compare these elements and describe their effects on evil plans and villains.

No single element causes a villain's downfall. All three play a part in each instance, but their comparative influences vary from case to case. The most common of the three is human nature. Fatal character flaws on the part of the villain cause some of the most famous and spectacular downfalls. Poor strategies are often co-dependent on fatal character flaws, but can be viewed as a separate element. Situational awareness and resource management often decide a conflict's outcome before it begins. The final element that can cause downfall is chaos. Theoretically, a omnipotent and all-powerful being would not experience chaos. However, since such villain has yet to appear in literature or reality, chaos will be defined as unpredictable forces which can not be overcome by preparation.

Now that the three elements of downfall have been defined, it is time to examine them more closely. Human nature is the primary reason villains fail. Pride, greed, and laziness are character flaws that cloud judgment and lead to fatal mistakes, hence the term fatal flaw. A villain who is afflicted by pride will be too sure of his or her power. In Star Wars IV, the pride of the Empire lost them the Death Star, a powerful weapon and a technological marvel. However, the officers' overconfidence prevented them from responding seriously to the Rebel Alliance. The Empire failed to fix the known weak point before making an attack on the forewarned Alliance, and it cost them a key battle.

Another example of pride bringing about a downfall is monologuing during a fight. In addition to giving away the speaker's location in combat, a monologue just helps the hero. In comic books, heroes never fail to get a second wind or finish setting up a final attack while the villain is boasting. At the end of the Pixar movie, The Incredibles, the villain, thinking himself safe in the air, stops for an angry monologue. If he hadn't been staying in one place, Mr. Incredible wouldn't have been able to throw a car into his jet. Pride goeth before the fall - literally in some stories.

While pride causes fatal overconfidence, greed causes fatal overreaching. Countless villains in B-grade action films die in tombs and temples because they were too busy shoveling gold into their pockets. To illustrate the effect of this overreaching in a scheme, this paper will refer to Dodie Smith's book 101 Dalmatians. In the story, the villain Cruella de Vil is crazy for fur. When she sees the Dalmatian couple Pongo and Missis Pongo with their fifteen new puppies she decides to make a spotted coat from puppy fur. Although she gathers eighty-two other puppies, the spots on the Pongos' puppies are too perfect to pass up. However, after she steals them, the angry dogs track her across England, take all the puppies back, trash her manor and have their humans call the police on her. Moral issues of fur aside, Cruella could have gotten away with her dog-skin coat scheme if she had not needed to use the Pongos' puppies. While the encounter was not fatal, she let greed push her plan too far.

The third fatal flaw, laziness, produces downfalls through assumption. The Disney animated movie The Lion King provides several good illustrations. The henchmen hyenas assumed the desert would kill the lion cub Simba instead of finishing him off in person. Several years later, Simba grows into a full lion and reclaims the kingdom. Despite his guile, Scar, the mastermind, was also quite lazy. He assumed that the title of king would keep him safe. However, his misrule of the kingdom would have eventually caused either the lions or hyenas to assassinate him. Assumptions can kill just as easily as pride or greed.

The three fatal flaws and poor strategies are often linked. A fatal flaw clouds a villain's judgment and so it becomes impossible to make and execute a good tactics. Whether fighting in a volcanic crater or ordering hundreds of soldiers, the basics of tactical planning will decide the outcome ninety-nine percent of the time. Situational awareness deals with how much accurate and pertinent knowledge a villain has about him or herself, the opponents, and the battlefield. Resource management is critical because there is always a limiting element in a conflict, such as materials or time. Improperly prioritizing goals and resources can quickly leave the villain with neither a way to move the plan forward or a way to escape the fallout.

Classical literature provides a good example of all these elements at once. In the series Lord of the Rings, the white wizard Saurman joins forces with the Dark Lord. He quickly converts his tower into a monster making factory. The forges run non-stop to equip his army of orcs and soon the land around Isangaurd is a charred strip mine. Running out of fuel, Saurman turns his eyes to the neighboring forest of Fangon. The wizard was aware the ancient race of Ents live in Fangorn – he has even spoken with a few; but he didn't view them a threat to his fortress. However, the historically pacifistic race held a hasty counsel of war and unanimously decide to go to battle. When they run out of things to break by smashing, they quickly dig a channel up to the river and flood Isangarud. The downfall of Saurman was due to a lack of situational awareness; he misjudged the philosophy and power of the Ents. Pride slanted his observations. Greed and laziness also payed a part in this tale. Saurman mismanaged his resources building an army and then rushed into stealing and looting without gathering proper intelligence. This was a poor strategy on multiple levels.

While fatal flaws and poor strategy cause most downfalls, some are caused by simple chaos. In the introduction of this paper, chaos was defined as unpredictable forces which can not be overcome by preparation. However, there is one point to bear in mind. Available knowledge plays large part in determining if the downfall was chaos or simply poor strategy In feudal Europe, cardiovascular technologies were limited. There truly was no way to check the electrical function of a heart or examine the blood-markers. The Black Knight's sudden heart-attack on the jousting field could not have been predicted and or treated with the contemporary medical equipment. However, in first world cities of the twentieth-first century, the resources and facilities are common. Most of the population knows that the tests exist. If a modern super villain has a sudden heart-attack, it is often because they didn't or couldn't take the time to have those tests run. As humanity's field of knowledge changes, chaos' areas of influence change – modern examples include traffic accidents and food poisoning. Theoretically, omnipotence would remove chaos, but until and if someone like that appears, all plans and people are susceptible to chaos.

In conclusion, all downfalls share similar causes. The tandem factors of fatal flaws and poor strategy leave the villain vulnerable to opposition from a hero also well as environmental hazards. Chaos can bypass all schemes with an unpredictable event. With all these elements in play, it is easy to see why downfalls are commonplace.

Random Ranting: The Digital Divide

    As a writer, I can practice my craft anytime I have a pen, paper, and a clear head. 

    Unfortunately, as an aspiring author in the digital age, I things are not this simple. Last month revealed a hidden start up cost. I NEED a stable computer and internet connection.
     
   Building reader rapport demands networking. I live in twenty miles from anything bigger than a bait shop. So, social media to the recuse, right? *eye twitch*

    There are some things that my urban friends just don't get. Internet is not a regular utility like electricity or water. You have to fight for it, and is often a losing battle.
    My late father had weekly calls with the phone company about packet dropping. Doesn't matter how fast you push the data through if bits are missing. It wasn't like we could switch companies; they were the only one with lines out here. Cellphone companies charge through the nose and satellite is a crapshoot (...that's older term for dice gambling.)

    "Well, just make a backlog and go to a coffee shop." Oh, how wonderfully simple that sounds. I just have to wait for a nearby town to hit Starbucks or McDonalds' 'this-won't -lose-us-money' population number.
    Small town libraries are also a mixed bag. The access hours are minimal, and parents offload swarms of grade-school kids because there's no daycare. (The librarians however are wonderful, understanding people. Thanks for giving me a card although I don't live/work in the 'official' city zone.)

    An actually broken computer is just a cow patty atop the septic line. When my laptop blitzed this month, I had to drive to a repair shop and as well as handover my precious backup drive. Later I got the bill - cue small panic attack.

    The digital divide is real and frustrating. It's one thing to be a reclusive author, but chronic dropping off the grid isn't how you attract readers and publishers. 
   (The only bright spot is that I'm going to able to torment my nieces and nephews with "You kids don't know how easy you have it. In my day...")

Convoluted Thoughts and a Pep-Talk

I have trouble communicating my thought process. This is because at any given instance, I'm could be having a three way argument, filibuster, or random memory recall. I don't always think in English or spoken words. (I was SO relieved when I met other people who do this.)

Telling a story set my 'inner world' is convoluted, and not my strong point. However, practice makes perfect. So I ask my readers (all ten plus Mum) to bear with me.

This is a story about self-doubt, table-top RPGs, and time management.

While developing my author 'brand,' I researched what other successful (a.k.a. paid) writers do. It's very impressive. They blog, they write, they get involved with their local and online peers. They visit workshops, write freelance, or even start writer's groups.

However, I noticed something a bit worrying. Most of them are some form of teacher/editor/etc. Basically, they're all part of the Highly Educated class.

I'm not Highly Educated. My dream career out of high school was watchmaking and micro-technologies. Later, I studied environmental engineering. Forces, electrons, heat exchange. I trained my brain to hunt and measure. My humanities classes focused on how to respectfully tell a supervisor that they're about to poison a lot of people. -_-;

My lack of 'bardic' training isn't a true obstacle; I have stories to share. What does bother me is inefficiency. I can't just copy and paste 'how so-and-so became writer' into my life. I'm stuck tweaking and experimenting.

Now, in science problems have a single 'true' answer. However, the method to find it matters. Efficiency is the difference between finishing four questions on an calculus exam versus six. I want the most and best I can get for my efforts. (I'm very greedy that way.)

I'm also painfully aware of my handicaps – experience, money, connections. I look at other writers, artists, and musicians and realize I know so little about the community and industry. I feel like a causal jogger dumped into the Olympics.

...why did I ever think Trilby'Bard' was a good username? 'Bard' is like the storyteller's version of Sensei. Anyone can claim it, but few live it. (Cue the self-doubt and wave of second guessing.)

While trying to poke my ego back into working order, my ever-busy mind pulls up an alternate file on bard – the D&D character class. 

“You aren't a well-built bard, not by any playbook,” my inner gamer lectures. “You've got three levels of Scientist. Those don't reroll in real life. Neither do that crap Constitution score or situational Charisma penalty.”

Rub my nose in it much? :'(

“Are you or aren't you the woman played a mixed World of Darkness Campaign from start to finished with a vanilla human?” I correct myself. “Numbers and min-max builds don't mean squat. Apply some of that creativity to this multi-class problem of yours.”

Uhm, gaming mechanics don't apply to switching careers.

“New core skills to pick up, changed focus in stat development, different 'feats,'” the gamer tics off points, “Equipment needs an overall, you need to plan new encounter tactics, plus increase your reputation to qualify for high level quests... that's simple stuff.”

...I'm I really comparing socializing to a dungeon crawl?

“And how did we survive those?” I grin at the memories. “While everyone lawyers the dice higher and higher, you pull out 'uncommon sense.' Silver dust bombs for werewolves. Keep a personal 'McGuyver bag' separate from the bulky camping pack. Don't get greedy. Don't assume. Don't forget the Evil Overlord list. Come on, it's not like you're dealing with a cranky GM out to bump off that player. You just have to plan for bad dice rolls.”

Several more cheesy references later, my brain settled down enough to plan.

While I'm technically a level 5 Character overall, I'm not a level 5 bard like the authors I researching. I need to start simple - how manage my time like a writer.

Unlike college, where they make you take a dull seminar on planning out a 'student week,' I have to develop a workable pattern myself.  Blocking out a chunk of time to type is only half the battle.  It's no good if I'm too tired or stressed. Writing has to become my lifestyle focus.

Thus is written in The Book of Five Rings,

“The true science of martial arts cannot be attained by a mastery of only swordsmanship. Knowing the small by way of the great, one goes from the swallow to the deep.”

 ヽ(ಠ_ಠ)ノ Enough from the peanut gallery, already. I'm trying to do time management stuff over here!

“I am thou. Thou art I” ;)

Laughing, a Coping Method.

Getting robbed in your sleep is horrifying and violating. It doesn't matter whether someone broke into your apartment and stole your laptop or simply the food from your pantry. This summer, my orchard was robbed.
It was a big deal.

My home is my sanctuary. Those trees are a connection to my late father. That fruit was going to be turned into 'home cooking' and shared with friends and family. Someone took all of that from me.

The worst part is this loss is due to 'someone.' I've lost harvests before due to weather and animals. (Heck, I'd rather it be space aliens than humans.) However, I triple checked for animal signs and then had a neighbor check – it's people.

I'm outraged, hurt, and having trouble sleeping at night. As a practicing Christian, I'm supposed to forgive, turn the other check. However, I'm also very much a human with feelings and an hyperactive flight or fight response.

I've spread the word at the farmer's market and given my neighbors a heads up. Everyone I talk to is just as puzzled as I am. (There's not exactly a black-market for unripe green apples.) As Tolkien would have put it “This is orc mischief,” - destruction for the sake of it or from envy. You don't steal five trees worth of fruit if you are truly starving.

Unsurprising, I have a new fence going up – it will have panels, it will have a locking gate, and electric wire. It's also time to set up my old trail cameras and plan choke points. I'm also keeping a closer eye on my animals and the machine shed.

I have an action plan; however, it doesn't fix my peace of mind. My hyper analysis skills work against me in this situation. (What if they decided to come back? What if stealing fruit isn't enough?) There's a lot to fear.

Fear is the mind-killer. Luckily, I have a weapon.

I step back, and laugh.

I laugh at the ridiculousness of stealing five trees worth of green fruit (Seriously, what can you do with them? Make bad whiskey?)

I laugh at myself for putting a sword in the umbrella bin and sleeping with a walking stick under my bed.

I laugh with my Pappy about my reluctance to buy and possibly fire a gun over apples. ("You ain't going to fire it over apples. You fire it over their heads.")

I laugh at people's expression when I tell them my poodle's new mohawk is to “make him look scarier.”

I laugh, knowing those thieves will probably never think of me again, while I'm devoting all this energy to them.

I laugh because it gives other people permission to laugh with me – to let them know I'm safe and managing.

I laugh because all my off-the-wall creativity (Do centaurs wear horseshoes? What's the tensile strength of a gingerbread cottage. Do moths eat magic carpets?) synergies with a library's worth of survivalist and trap-making lore. Next harvest, we'll be ready.
 (*-`ω´- )人(*-`ω´- )

First Draft Analysis and Other Unpleasant Things.

About a week ago, I finished the rough draft of Tales of Mundus: The Gingerbread Incident. I then realized why it had been such a bear to write. It's the wrong story.

Short stories are very demanding in how you use the reader's attention. You're on a tight format. A big sprawling neighbor picnic is good for exploring the world, but not for building a connection with the main characters. It's definitely the wrong story.

There also the matter of trying to write slice-of-life comedy. The Gingerbread Incident introduces too many topics at once. As a short story, it's a rushed read. There's a difference between rushed narration and quick paced humor.

Basically, it's the wrong plot to be a 'pilot' episode.

Another point against this draft, it that is won't hook an agent. The conflict and plot are solid, but don't stand out.

While I'm not sure if I want to go the traditional publishing route, attracting an agent is a benchmark to me. Getting an agent means there's at least a niche market out there. That means multiple readers who would enjoy the series. (It also means I become a PAID storyteller.)

To add insult to injury, the characters are needling me. They want to show off.

“I'm a dragon,” Celebramar points out, “People see that word and expect a thrilling story. If you don't follow through, they'll flame you.”
“You also didn't establish us as complex characters,” Leon pipes up, “You kind of just attached the camera over my shoulder and filmed the picnic... not that it wasn't interesting. But... you can do better.”

-_-; (My inner world is a very busy place.)

Mental health aside, I've come to an unpleasant conclusion. I need to put this draft into the maturing bin, hunt down my good pen, and start anew.

Overthinking: Birthdays and Parties

This year, I will be 28 years old. 28 is not a traditionally special birthday (unlike say 21 or 40.) That's doesn’t mean it isn't special. You see, I SURVIVED twenty eight years. Despite chronic migraines, modern education, homicidal technology, and a vindictive pear tree, I've still here.

This calls for a party! However, as I've sent out invitations, I've hit a problem. Getting a bunch of friends in one place is a lot harder than it was in grade school.

Basically, all my friends are older. They have jobs and spouses. Also, they 'grew up.'

Weirdly enough, adults are harder to bribe than children. Chilled watermelon and a waterballoon fight just doesn’t catch their attention. First question out of their mouths, “Will the melon be spiked with something strong?” (No, the melon will be sliced with a knife.)

I've noticed the favorite excuse is “I'm just too tired” ...unless I mention something exotic like a paid laser tag session or a night at Dave&Busters. Oh, boy...

In my vocabulary, “I'm tired,” means I need to switch into low gear. That means a day reading, napping, and maybe an evening walk. (It's an introvert thing.) I don't look for adventures or busy work.

So the idea than my friends are too tired/busy to set and eat watermelon on the porch, but are fine for a loud, crowded arcade...?

In the words of Phoenix Wright, "OBJECTION!"

Right now, the only thing between my friends and an epic Birthdayzilla stomping (lesser known cousin of Bridezilla) is a bit of foresight.

You see, I don't want the 'princess treatment.' I haven't since I since I was a teenager. Sitting in the center of a room as a line of well wishers and tribute pass along sounds exhausting. If I pitch a fit, all get is guilty and annoyed vassals.

My idea of a wonderful birthday isn't an event or a fancy meal. It's something much, much harder to get. I want to put my favorite people in the same room; then to sit down in a comfy chair and bask. No weird party games, no long speeches, just watching and listening to them.

It's not so much the princess treatment as the dragon treatment. I'm greedy and want their time. I want to spend an hour or so just being still because the adult world is nuts. I horde those quiet little nothings. However, you can't force them into being because that pressure taints the moment.

Being adult means you've learned to pick your battles. I know the watermelon and water fight is not happening. I know I have to plan food and beverages so my people don't wander off before I get a good basking started. I know I have to not over-think the 'polite' excuse so we can all save face. (I also know not to let a ideal spoil the reality.)

Adults are harder to coordinate than children. However, dragons are nothing if not

cunning. It may take a bit of flexible thinking, but I'm going to celebrate this birthday with my friends – without having to garish it with sky diving or bar hopping.

(Hmm, now there's a story idea. What kind of dragon fusses with a parsley garnish?)

The Day Job

My typical self-introduction.

Other person: "You're working on a book? So how do you pay the bills?"

Me: "Uhm...."*brain hits panic button* 

RED ALERT! RUN SOCIAL DEFELCTION SIGMA!

There's a bit of social stigma for the writer or freelance artist; an unstable wage is a 'no-no' in modern American. The golden standard for my generation is being able to live on your own, regularly met any college bills, insurance copays for health and car, and start building an emergency fund. When you're starting out, that kind of cash follow doesn't happen (unless your paying audience literally jumps through your window.)

A day job is common sense. It protects your wallet and your pride. A day job is safe.

I'm living dangerously.

Migraines are no fun for anyone, particularly if you want steady work. The problem isn't that I'm unskilled or educated. Effectively, I have two bodies and brains that randomly swap out. One hour, I'm pruning a pear tree, chatting about cider blends. The next, I'm hiding in my pillow nest groaning as the room spins.

I've tried to find payed work – even volunteer work to pad my resumee. I've hunted on my own and with the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation. However, in spite of my grades, character recommendations and brains, employers just don't get back with me.

I get it, really. I mean, I'm an insurance drain at best and a workplace hazard at worst. That doesn't change the fact that I'm living off Disability Income.

There is no good way to admit that at a networking mixer. It's also an opening for people to try to 'fix' you. The conversation veers away from my writing to snake oil treatments, political and economy views, and even my moral fiber.

Plus, I live in Oklahoma. What's makes Republicans more frustrated than an unemployed adult under 30? An unemployed adult living off tax-payer money.

Now, you'd think that a storyteller could find some creative and non-awkward introduction. Unfortunately, I have over three years of engineer training working against me. Down playing facts makes things go boom. I can't bluff or lie worth beans.

Fortunately, my little sister took Lisa mercy on me. She was the middle child growing up that means years of practice managing the attention hogging eldest and youngest. She is now a PR and marketing specialist. I use words like a gem cutter's would use tools. She uses words like a Judo Sensei.

After knocking me around the head for letting strangers decide my lifestyle is shameful, Lisa worked her magic.

“Think of it as having a government sponsorship to focus on writing.”

...I could work with that.

“You're working on a book? So how do you pay the bills?”

Now I grinned and answer, “I have a federal grant for the advancement of Arts and Humanities through humorous dragon stories.”

(PR and Marketing: If you can't change the product, find a better display case.)

Why Mundus doesn't have Dark Lords... or Dark Ladies

Short stories are challenging to write, however Tales of Mundus doesn't work as anything else. Stories are about conflict, and Leon and Celebramar just don't do epic quests.

I've TRIED to create longer plots, really. (Writer's block should not involve my own characters forming a picket line around the imagination part of my brain.) The closest thing Mundus has to an antagonist is a Fey queen with a grudge against the dragon. However, she just isn't 'wicked' enough to be a re-according problem.

Mundus refuses to have Big Bads. It's not a utopia or even a violence free world. Nevertheless, I just can't work an Dark Lord into current events.

There were Evil Empresses and Mad Sorcerers, but they got vanquished at least thirty to forty years before Leon was born. I also don't see the people of Mundus letting more take root. (You try setting up a dictatorship when a nosy fairy-godmother can wander though and befriend your serfs.)

Also, the whole point of Mundus was to watch how wizards and dragons live when there's NOT an epic quest. What do they do with all that extra time? Do they have hobbies, steady jobs? Order groceries, homestead? (Plus, the thought of Celebramar trying to visit a butcher shop is much more interesting than him fighting a frost giant or whatever.)

Tales of Mundus feels right as a semi-connected short story anthology. The only way I think it will every be a long plot with a set villain is if Disney manages trick me into a contract -_-;

Overthinking: Magic in Fiction

As a self-described cultural magpie, I shamelessly grab any interesting ideas. My current project 'The Gingerbread Incident' has a European dragon (four legs, wings, horns, breathes fire) eating gumbo along side a centaur and retired fairy-godmother.

However, the other half of my brain demands order. Good thing too. If I want to avoid writing myself into a corner or creeping power thresholds (think about Dragonball and DBZ), I have to sort my horde of ideas and pick how to weave them into a whole.

Writing fantasy is both simple and complex. As a writer you can do anything but the audience may not buy it. Fantasy is an agreement for the reader to suspend disbelief on 'x' 'y' or 'z' in exchange for entertainment.

When you world build a fantasy, ask yourself two questions. What is the plot purpose of magic/science/etc? Is the system understandable to my audience?

In the old European folktales, heroes only get magic as gifts or punishments from 'wise old people;' instant and dramatic karma. Meanwhile the alchemy of Fullmetal Alchemist is both McGuffin and a morality play added plus a lovely helping of visual whoa. The users' power is only limited by their investments and wisdom. In Star Wars, the Force is a mystic energy that amplifies and refines the wielder's emotion; it takes the story's heroes and villains to galaxy changing levels.

All of these are nice systems, however Mundus includes...

...fairy-godmothers, werewolves, genies, treenuts-stuffed-with-dresses, fey music, lucky numbers, umbrellas that become sentient after a hundred years, colleges of mages, hermit sages, fire-breathing dragons and repairmen wizards.

My options were to drop ideas or tailor Mundus so everyone could fit. I'm not going to just wave my hand and say 'it's make-believe' - I hated stories like that as child. However, even my overthinking brain baulked at developing an origin/creation back-story. (Mundus is a whimsical world and Tolkien did it better.)

I've always known how I wanted the magic to work, but it's been a long while before I could put the idea in sensible(ish) words.

In Mundus magic is like math. It's a tool, it's effects everything people do and not always obviously. It goes from simple addition and subtraction to complex theoretical equations. Anyone can learn it – most people give up after the basics and some are just weirdly good at it.

Now, how math works makes a very poor story; thankfully, Mundus is about people. The people of Mundus react to magic the same way a group of college students react to statistics: “Better you than me,” “Thank goodness, my career doesn't require that,” “I just have to know enough to pass,” “It's worth the time it takes to master,” and, of course, “Why is everyone fussing, can't you see the patterns?”

Leon (the co-protagonist) falls into the 'studied hard' category – most wizards, witches, and human magic users do. Naiads who control streams or a hunter who can smell curses use 'knack' magic – they have with an unteachable instinct that they refine over time.

This system isn't perfect, or particularly original. However, my organized brain is happy enough to let the creative side go wild. Now if only the characters' dialogue was half as cooperative -_-;

Breaking the Silence

Blogging doesn't come easy for me.

It's not that I lack material or writing time. My problem is picking the 'right' stories to tell. You see, I'd eventual like to be a paid storyteller and to do that I need to gather a following willing to pay. There is a lot of pressure to stick on topic.

I write 'not-quite-high' fantasy with a generous helping of over-thinking. (High fantasy is Tolkien's realm, low fantasy isn't a real genre to my knowledge.) While my thoughts on Pres. Trump's tariff policy are interesting, that sort of post won't help me find readers for Tales of Mundus.

A better line of approach is through humor or my experiences world building. However, not all of these are good topics either.

For example, the story of how I broke my nose or of when I found ants in my coffee maker are both hilarious. (I could make a whole other author persona on 'crazy crap that proves the universe is out to get me.') My quality checkers strongly advise I don't post those on the world wide web. Considering one is a P.R. Major, I'll listen to that.

The back-story of Mundus is interesting, but nearly impossible to post without spoiling works I have in progress. Fun fact, intellectual copyrights are NOT short-story optimized. Because I want to get payed, I have to protect my characters and world from poachers. (This is the internet.) Besides, Tales of Mundus is my brainchild, it would be like a kidnapping where you find out they've been sold to a sweatshop that became a million dollar franchise.

Now, some people make be thinking 'just suck it up and write.' Well, I do write... then review and remember it has to go online. I've axed three blog posts in two weeks – they just didn't work on a storyteller's blog.

It seems I took this proverb a little too well - speech is silver; silence is golden.

The Holiday Season and my Writing

"Individually, I love you all with affection unspeakable, but, collectively, I look upon you with a disgust that amounts to absolute detestation."

Fredrick the Accidental Apprentice Pirate

Pirates of Penzance by Gilbert and Sullivan

Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years – they are the source of many precious and mortifying stories. I treasure each of these holidays. Nevertheless, Fredrick sums up my feeling well. I detest the U.S.A.'s 'Holiday Season.'

Despite events like Write a Novel in a Month, November through January is a slump time for me. It's very frustrating.

As an introvert, I need my quite and routine to recharge my social batteries. The Holidays Season is loud, pushy, and full of emotional whiplash. Jump scares, bad movies, and sugar highs. Celebrate the first colonists not starving to death, then Black Friday frenzy. Spend money for Christmas, 'reclaim' Christmas for Christ, feel generous, feel happy to have relatives invade your house...

...then comes New Years, or as my family calls it Amateur Drunk night. I haven't got the brain space to make resolutions because I'm gathering supplies to last until the roads are safe. Heaven help us all if there's bad weather. (Oklahoma ices – thankfully no snowadoes.)

This year, I filled several pages of a notebook with reminders, quotes, and story scribbles. However, Tales of Mundus netted nothing more than a few paragraphs. (Yes, I know, REAL authors can write 1,000 words per day on a lever action typewriter while their fingers bleed. )

It many be laziness or creative excuse making, but I simply don't do well in winter. My creative seems solar powered. When the sun goes down, I want to go to bed – never-mind it's only 7pm. Come New Years, I'm drained from running in 'owl mode.' Add the Holiday Season’s social marathon, and it's no wonder I always catch colds or have winter allergies turn nasty.

Even now the state of my nose and throat is not fit for description. I'm not 'ladylike' when I sneeze. Between the noise and jerking up my arm up to stop the spray, it's more like a karate demo than a cute kitten webclip. I've been fighting this bug since January 1^st. 

Thank goodness I don't have anymore company for a few days. Now I can reboot my sleep cycle, sort out my notes and get some writing done before Valentine's Day hits.