I
have trouble communicating my thought process. This is because at any
given instance, I'm could be having a three way argument, filibuster,
or random memory recall. I don't always think in English or spoken
words. (I was SO relieved when I met other people who do this.)
Telling
a story set my 'inner world' is convoluted, and not my strong point.
However, practice makes perfect. So I ask my readers (all ten plus
Mum) to bear with me.
This
is a story about self-doubt, table-top RPGs, and time management.
While
developing my author 'brand,' I researched what other successful
(a.k.a. paid) writers do. It's very impressive. They blog,
they write, they get involved with their local and online peers. They
visit workshops, write freelance, or even start writer's groups.
However,
I noticed something a bit worrying. Most of them are some form of
teacher/editor/etc. Basically, they're all part of the Highly
Educated class.
I'm
not Highly Educated. My dream career out of high school was
watchmaking and micro-technologies. Later, I studied environmental
engineering. Forces, electrons, heat exchange. I trained my brain to
hunt and measure. My humanities classes focused on how to
respectfully tell a supervisor that they're about to poison a lot of
people. -_-;
My
lack of 'bardic' training isn't a true obstacle; I have stories to
share. What does bother me is inefficiency. I can't just copy and
paste 'how so-and-so became writer' into my life. I'm stuck tweaking and
experimenting.
Now, in science problems have a single 'true' answer. However, the method to
find it matters. Efficiency is the difference between finishing four
questions on an calculus exam versus six. I want the most and best I
can get for my efforts. (I'm very greedy that way.)
I'm also painfully aware of my handicaps – experience, money, connections. I
look at other writers, artists, and musicians and realize I know so
little about the community and industry. I feel like a causal jogger
dumped into the Olympics.
...why
did I ever think Trilby'Bard' was a good username? 'Bard' is
like the storyteller's version of Sensei. Anyone can claim it, but
few live it. (Cue the self-doubt and wave of second guessing.)
While
trying to poke my ego back into working order, my ever-busy mind
pulls up an alternate file on bard – the D&D character class.
“You aren't a well-built bard, not by any playbook,” my inner
gamer lectures. “You've got three levels of Scientist. Those don't
reroll in real life. Neither do that crap Constitution score or
situational Charisma penalty.”
Rub
my nose in it much? :'(
“Are
you or aren't you the woman played a mixed World of Darkness Campaign
from start to finished with a vanilla human?” I correct myself.
“Numbers and min-max builds don't mean squat. Apply some of that
creativity to this multi-class problem of yours.”
Uhm, gaming
mechanics don't apply to switching careers.
“New core skills to pick up, changed focus in stat development,
different 'feats,'” the gamer tics off points, “Equipment needs
an overall, you need to plan new encounter tactics, plus increase
your reputation to qualify for high level quests... that's simple
stuff.”
...I'm
I really comparing socializing to a dungeon crawl?
“And
how did we survive those?” I grin at the memories. “While
everyone lawyers the dice higher and higher, you pull out 'uncommon
sense.' Silver dust bombs for werewolves. Keep a personal 'McGuyver
bag' separate from the bulky camping pack. Don't get greedy. Don't
assume. Don't forget the Evil Overlord list. Come on, it's not like
you're dealing with a cranky GM out to bump off that player. You just
have to plan for bad dice rolls.”
Several
more cheesy references later, my brain settled down enough to plan.
While I'm technically a level 5 Character overall, I'm not a level 5 bard like the authors I researching. I need to start simple - how manage my time like a writer.
Unlike
college, where they make you take a dull seminar on planning out a
'student week,' I have to develop a workable pattern myself. Blocking out a chunk of time to type is only half the battle. It's no good if I'm too tired or stressed. Writing has to become my lifestyle focus.
Thus is written in The Book of Five Rings,
“The true science of martial arts cannot be attained by a mastery
of only swordsmanship. Knowing the small by way of the great, one
goes from the swallow to the deep.”
ヽ(ಠ_ಠ)ノ Enough from the peanut gallery, already. I'm trying to do time management stuff over here!
“I am thou. Thou art I” ;)
